I don’t mean to be insensitive or cynical about this, I really don’t, but can somebody please tell me why for the love of God must every single contestant appearing on every ponderous reality television show feel they are compelled to bawl and blubber on national television? You pick the reality show and straight-up snot-bubbling, shoulder-shaking, boo-hooing is going to roll not long after the floor director cues the talent. “OK, people, we air in 5-4-3-2-1, roll the theme package, theme up, push camera 1, ready 1, and ….. CRY!” Hells-bells, out of the gate I struggle with the idea that those appearing on reality shows actually buy into the notion that they are participating, even remotely, with a meaningful real experience, let alone the millions of viewers who set their Tivo’s so as to not miss a single heartbeat of the weekly, 9 pm EST, 8 pm CST, entertainment bonanza.
In fairness some of it I guess I can see. If I was sporting the equivalent ballast of a VW, I might be motivated to call Jillian and Bob, and they might motivate me to bust a move toward the Y, if they are running a special. Come to think of it for a cool million (500K after taxes) I might flaunt my reality on the network for 13 weeks too. What about reality love? I totally understand ladies who’s love lives might be trending toward the bleak and forlorn auditioning for some couch time with Flavor Flav, right ladies? Then there is, or was, Jon and Kate plus 8, making a fairly persuasive case for starting a village idiot marriage counseling practice or getting into a mail-order condom business on E-Bay. The Kardashian Family? Who wouldn’t just love to fight over the last drumstick with that DNA experiment? These shows are just the intellectually blunted tip of the proverbial reality television spear.
Alas, there is Octo-Mom. What sort of reality show might be lurking around that corner? Perhaps the working title could be “HEY LADY — Your vagina is not a clown car!” Sigh. Clearly reality shows are, well a reality and I can live with it. I am just hoping that some reality producer somewhere will man or woman-up and produce a show called, “You Cry, You Die!” I think you can spit-ball the general plot direction on your own.